Top 5 Reasons 'Cosmopolitan' Is Complete Crap

Cosmo magazine is read religiously by women in their homes, in lines at supermarkets, at nail salons, and so on.

The problem with beauty and style magazines is not inherent.  There are many I really enjoy and get a great deal of happiness from reading.  The issue is not in style, fashion, or beauty.  The issue is in the body shaming, lifestyle shaming, all around grossly obnoxious articles in Cosmopolitan and the like.

In reality?  Beauty is arbitrary.  Sexuality is fluid.  And no one should be shamed for how they conduct their lives or what they believe.

In these magazines?  The only beauty is 5'11, blonde, blue-eyed, golden-skinned (but not too dark), and stick thin (but not without an enormous chest).  There's an enormous lack of representation of women of color in these magazines. You're supposed to be as sexy as Samantha from Sex and the City, but don't show it, or you'll make it on their "skanky list".  Gag.  Being gay is only an experiment, and only to do at parties to get men excited because it's "sexy", never mind objectifying those who identify as gay and find it incredibly offensive.  

These magazines preach "Love who you are!" but at the same time, its ads and articles whisper "but not until you lose ten pounds and cut your hair in a socially acceptable way".  Even plus-sized models (Cosmo and others consider model Alex LaRosa -seen here- a size eight plus sized. Most plus-sized clothing doesn't even begin until U.S. size sixteen.) are either underrepresented or highly sexualized.  Sexualizing a particular body type does not bring it into social acceptance, it objectifies it.

With those things being said, here are my top five reasons Cosmopolitan and other magazines is complete and utter crap:

1. Mixed messages of 'body positivity'.

Let's just take this in for a moment.  It's absolutely disgusting.  Hypocrisy perhaps?  There are so many women and impressionable young girls that have body image issues.  If people are constantly being told that they're too fat when they're at a healthy weight, and they begin to lose weight and become "scary thin", where is the happy medium?

I saw a tabloid with a paparazzi shot (again. gag.) of Miley leaving a restaurant for lunch wearing a loose fitting shirt, with a hastily-drawn red circle over her stomach with the caption, "Miley Sports a Baby Bump?!"  No.  No, Us Weekly, Miley just ate a meal.  She is not pregnant.  And don't pretend you wouldn't kill for her body, Editors.  Your envy and body shaming practices are not a great combo.  Next.

2.  Slut Shaming.

Oh, God.  Where to begin with all the things wrong with this?  

First of all, where we always end up, male objectification.  What Guys Think.  What do guys think of the way you dress?  What does it matter?  Absolutely nothing.  A woman cannot even dress for herself without the internalized misogyny of the media turning it into something "skanky", i.e. something done for male attention.  I don't know if you've noticed, but Rihanna doesn't care at ALL what people think.  It's one of my favorite things about her.  She's fearless, filterless, and she does what she wants to do.  She doesn't let opinions stop her.  Which is a fantastic way to live your life, if you ask me.  

So why does Cosmo continuously slap "Sexy vs. Skanky" headlines on every female celebrity that shows an inch of skin?  It just reinstates the idea that women should care what men think of the most minuscule things.  I do not care if my eyeliner is pleasing to a boy, nor do I wear short shorts for anyone but myself.  I like how I look, so I wear it.  Simple as that.  I am not a "slut" for wearing a crop top.  I'm not "skanky" for showing skin.   Cosmo even has articles about whether or not Brazilian waxes are "pleasing to your man", and "50 hot sex tips to keep him satisfied".  So it's okay to be "slutty" and "skanky" as long as it's for him.  Hmm.  Interesting.  Mixed signals here.

I'm sick of those words.  They're demeaning.  Some women use them to demean other women.  Whether or not a woman is sexual does not have any impact on her moral character or intelligence.  Nor does the way one dresses.  One dresses to please oneself, and no one else.  I'm tired and annoyed by your slut-shaming articles, Cosmo.  Which brings me to my next point...

3.    Misogyny in Women's Magazines

It's there.  You don't even have to look that hard.  With headlines like, "please him!" and "drive him wild!" and even ads for things like razors and lotions that show men fawning over women who use the products (don't start me on Axe ads), how are you supposed to see anything in those magazines that shows you how to live for yourself?   Even small, demeaning things like this from April 2014 Cosmo, "Why is everything so annoying?!  Enter bitchy resting face, *cough* Kristen Stewart."  Why do magazines have to cut down women for the stupidest, most unimportant things?  Is it because women are always supposed to be sunshine and rainbows, to never show discomfort or disappointment, lest they be labeled the ever-hated "B" word?

Fun fact:  When they shave their legs, it's not for you.  Women do not exist solely for the pleasure and use of men, contrary to popular belief.

4.  Constantly demeaning/overlooking anyone different

Pattern here.  Tall.  Blonde.  Pale.  Skinny.   Over and over and over.  There's such a lack of representation here.  Such a small number of the population.  We're missing real plus-size models, women of color, short women, transgender women (real ones, not straight men playing trans), natural haired women, women of different religions showing it proudly, women who are amputees, women with tattoos, women with scars, athletic women, all kinds of women.  Women that make young girls proud and that are admirable.  Women that are strong, independent, and happy with themselves the way they are.  There is a massive, massive lack in that department.  I'll leave it at that.

And lastly,

5.  Generally Obnoxious Content, Obviously

It's things like this that just come off vapid and annoying.  There's no substance to any of this.  The interviews don't discuss career goals with its cover girls, or the like, just weight loss, hair cuts, and breakups.  Which can be important to an individual, understandably, but there is so much more to a woman than the way she looks or who she dates.  I love fashion and beauty, and making myself feel beautiful, but I am also a strong, ambitious, intelligent woman.  I am confident in who I am, and will not let myself be pushed aside.  Women are just as intellectually capable and ambitious as men, and to be demeaned or brushed aside or labeled as "just a dumb, shallow girl" is probably one of the worst things a person can do to a woman.

Cosmo, and all other magazines like you, I have to say you're the worst.  Brush out all the gross, misogynistic, shaming comments and articles, and get yourself together.

-Alexis 

Do Not Shrink Yourself

"It is so important to state your feelings of inconvenience as a woman. 
We are instructed to tailor ourselves and our discomfort - constantly told that we are ‘whining’ and ‘nagging’ and ‘complaining too much.’ 
That kind of silence is horribly violent, that kind of insistence upon uniformly nodding in agreement to your own despair, and smiling emptily so no man is ever uncomfortable around us.
Male-entitlement dictates a woman’s silence. 
If we could see the mimetic model of the erasure of a woman’s voice, it would be an incredibly bloody sight."
-Mehreen Kasana, A Woman of War.


The world we live in is decidedly male-dominated.  In the patriarchal society we grow up in, it is instilled in young girls from day one, some way or another, that you must make yourself smaller to accommodate, to make space for men.

If a man catcalls you on the street, you are not to shout at him-- that is rude.  Smile politely, he complimented you after all, didn't he?  The whoops and hollers from strange, intimidating men on the street mean that you're an attractive woman.  You should enjoy hearing "nice legs, sweetheart" and any other witty remark that comes from a man too cowardly to get your attention any other way than a whistle on the street.

Boys don't like smart girls.  Don't show off, you can't put a boy to shame with your higher intellect, your better skills.  That would crush his fragile ego, wouldn't it?  Then boys will never like you!

Smush yourself into your seat to make way for the man that barrels by you on the train without excusing himself.  You were probably in his way after all.  He must be very busy.  You should apologize.

Right?

This is the way it's supposed to be.  As a woman,  you apologize for taking up too much space.

Brilliant feminist and novelist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie addressed this topic in a TED talk in April of 2013.  You may recognize this excerpt, which was sampled on Beyoncé's song, ***Flawless:

"We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls,'You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful, otherwise you will threaten the man.'"

And this is the way it has been.  Any ambition or intelligence or passion you have ought to be toned down so the man is not threatened or scared away.

But this is utterly and completely untrue.  

As a woman, you have every advantage within yourself.  Women are strong, both mentally, emotionally, and physically, despite what misogynists may have to say.  As both a woman and a human being, you have a brilliant mind.  Do not let anyone take that from you.  Do not diminish yourself.  Do not hide, do not suppress, do not settle.

You are an enigma.  You are a paradox.  You can be anything and everything you've ever desired.  You can be passionate, you can be brilliant, you can be strong, because you are all those things.

Strong women change the world.

Do not let anyone dictate how you carry yourself.  Do not let strangers harass you in the streets.  Do not let anyone force you to do something you do not want to do.  Do not let anyone make you feel like you are anything less than an inferno.

You are bright, you are dangerous, you are awe-inspiring.

Women are not a force to be reckoned with.  Women are not fragile.  Women can destroy, women can create, women can have anything in this world in the palm of their hand if they so choose.

So let your feelings of inconvenience be known.  Make this world a better place for you to live in, and do not let anyone make you believe that this world is not yours for the taking.

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Below:  "Valley of the Dolls", a collage of diverse, beautiful, strong women I created for a project. 

Be empowered.

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